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Guest Column: Youngest child is leaving the nest, what happens now?

By Tom Layson/Herald guest columnist

The oxymoron of calling my youngest child “Old Baby” from time to time isn’t lost on me, or on the young man in question for that matter.

Even so, it’s time for Old Baby to don cap and gown and enter the ranks of the high school educated. He is still a long stretch away from his academic goals but high school graduation is a milestone to be sure. We’ll sit in the seats at Champion’s Centre again this year clapping for all the kids but playing home movies of our little fella’ in our minds.

For Old Baby’s mom and me, it is soon to be the end of an era: The end of having kids in the house full time, the end of loud stereos and exhaust pipes and the end of monitoring and having input on every condition of their lives. Actually, they’ve been pretty independent for a couple of years now, but they now have to more aggressively strive toward intellectual, financial and residential independence, too.

The Mrs. and I are having a lot of discussions about what our lives are going to be as semi-empty, and then four or five years from now after college is complete, fully-empty-nesters. We have yet to see a clear vision of what is going to take shape. I know I’ll get involved in music again, fish more and finally finish my masters all while trying to run a business. My wife really doesn’t have much to grasp beyond work and kids — and that concerns me a little, but I know she’ll figure it out and easily surpass me as usual.

Doing what we want, when we want and not hearing from the kids for days or weeks on end is going to be strange. We’ve always spent our “away” time talking about them and wondering what they’re up to. I’m sure that won’t change.

I’m also sure that their rooms will seem too quiet and that I’ll think about them all the time as I see pictures on the wall and their stuff still stored or shelved here and there. Someday, we won’t even have the stuff. Having learned from bitter experience, however, I will not throw out Old Baby’s baseball cards. Ever.

We have come to realize that we are parents at our cores. We loved every step and look forward to the steps that are still on the horizon. We care for other kids from other families and really will probably always be involved in parenting in one way or another at some level, whether it is as mentors, friends or grandparents.

If nothing else we have the dog, and frankly, he really needs more work before we send him off.

Tom Layson can be reached at tdlayson@gmail.com.