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closeGuest Column: Parent class memoirs
By Nancy Simpson/ Herald guest columnist
Today I reinstalled the drapes because they had been pulled down, lip-synced to the soundtrack of High School Musical and lost two games of Old Maid. To reiterate the obvious, I am a mother of small children.
Last November, I participated in a parenting class at James Sales Elementary in Tacoma. The class was provided by a community grant and its second cycle begins again this month.
The first night I attended I was filled with an eager excitement. I would finally discover the mystery of what was wrong with my kids. Shamefully, I quickly realized parent class was intended to shape the adults.
During week number two, I shared a frustrating experience and my response in handling the situation with my child. I remember being proud that I hadn’t lost my temper. After the instructor listened patiently to my story she said, “Well, that’s a start.” She was right. I was merely beginning to glimpse my future as a loving and logical parent.
The moment when my first child was born was beautiful. The next day when I couldn’t figure out how to get our little beauty to stop crying was horrendous. My life previous to parent class felt like an amusement ride between beautiful moments and loss of control. Now I understand better that life with my kids doesn’t need to be the extremes. I try to see the beauty in their mistakes because learning through mistakes shapes their future.
I learned coercion isn’t a sign of love. I used to force my daughter to sport perfect hair and outfits to school hoping to elevate her self esteem. It started every morning with a fight. It’s hard watching them run to school in mismatched clothes or with bed head but she leaves the house knowing I support her choices.
I learned the detrimental power of lecturing. It tells my kids they are too stupid to realize what they did wrong. My daughter broke the rules this week by jumping on the couch. She fell and hit the coffee table on the way down. I bit back every urge I had to lecture, letting the shining black eye that quickly developed do all of the talking for me.
I rely heavily on the people in my life to help me parent. My gratitude is deep for this community. I have no family close, but I have kind neighbors and talented teachers who lovingly point me in the right direction.
Perfection in parenting is a goal I’ll likely never achieve but I feel confident emphasizing successful parenting skills rather than putting the emphasis on raising successful children.
Anyone interested in getting involved with Love and Logic parenting can contact mnicholson@fpschools.org.